what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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