it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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