Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
