in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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