He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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