New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
