She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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