Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
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Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize