super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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