i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
