I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
nutella sex= disaster
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
