Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
