I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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