Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
