I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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