At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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