I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Randomize
