he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize