i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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