I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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