He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
