i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
