Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
