It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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