It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
