no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
