The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
