she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
