he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
