Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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