Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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