I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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