He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
