Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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