I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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