Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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