thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
