I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
