the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
