with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Are we still banned from the library?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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