it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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