omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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