I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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