Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
