He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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