I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
