And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
