I am full of burrito and curiosity
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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