i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
