laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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