I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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