Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I smell stomach acid.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
