She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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