nut hugger
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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