OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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