His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
