I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Vodka?
Forever.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
