just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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