I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
