i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
