you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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