pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
