You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
