the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize